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December 21, 2008
Once there were five "Golden" emperors, each of whom were succeeded peacefully by the next. Their secret was to adopt their chosen successor as their son. However, the last emperor chose to give the throne to his biological son, Commodus.
Commodus: This is my first decree: the months shall be named in my honor!
Commodus was far from golden.
Advisor 1: So it shall be!
Advisor 2: 31 days hath Commodus, Commodus and Commodus?
Commodus: Silence! I declare myself the reincarnation of Hercules! None can defy me, or face teh wrath of the gods!
Advisors: But--
Commodus: Hercules!
In addition...
Commodus: I order you to lose! ...Hercules. Now, everyone say 'hurrah!'
Citizen 1: How vulgar! Emperors shouldn't even touch gladiators!
Citizen 2: Shut it! We must stand by him and his virtuous father.
Citizen 3: Someone please just kill him.








